Learn their love language. The way you like to receive love might not be the way your friends and loved ones like to be loved. You might like it when people do things for you, but someone might appreciate getting compliments more. We all receive and give love differently.
The 5 types of love language:
- Words of affirmation- You’re looking like a snacky snack
- Gifts- I got you snacks
- Acts of service- I made you snacks
- Physical touch- Let me wrap you in my arms like the snack that you are
- Quality time- Let’s go get snacks
The love language test can be found here
Listen to them. When people start talking to us about their experience or some type of problem, we tend to respond with our own opinion and suggestions. Sometimes people don’t really want your opinion at all. Talking to someone is a type of release. Listen to hear; don’t listen to respond. If you really listen, that’s when you can really figure out how to love them and what they actually need.
Tell them you’re thinking of them. You know that friend who lives miles away from you? Text them and remind them you miss them. Your parents are getting old. Call them and tell them you appreciate them. Check in on them and see if they’re doing okay. It’s crazy how something so simple can make someone’s day.
Feed them. Honestly, who doesn’t love food? Maybe it’s a Filipino thing, but instead of saying hello, our immediate greeting is always, “have you eaten? are you hungry?” Even if we have nothing to offer, we always ask anyway. If you’re eating, offer food to the people around you. Take someone on a dinner date. Meet up with friends for a pick me up snack. Go and take a cooking class with someone. Make food for your loved ones. There are so many possibilities that revolve around food that can make the people around you feel loved. Even if someone is far away, you can even get food delivered to them. It’s 2020 and anything is possible babyyyyy.
Be there during their worst moments. People are always there to celebrate your successes and happy moments, but I think it is most important to have people around you during the worst times like experiencing loss, challenges, failures, deaths, sadness, and financial, health, and mental health problems. Offering help, spending time with them, and sending positive thoughts towards the people around you during their worst moments can mean the world to someone.
Celebrate and be happy for them. Graduation? New baby? New business? New adventure? Engagement? Be happy for the different accomplishments and strides in people’s lives. Not going to lie, when I see some people accomplish something, I tend to feel jealous or annoyed, which spirals into some type of self-deprecation. I just have to remind myself that this is not about me and that people’s accomplishments and successes do not make them any better than me. It doesn’t even have anything to do with me. Lift the people up around you, and let them do the same to you.
Spend time with them. We tend to casually tell people that we’ll hangout with them knowing that it will never happen. Let’s change that. Life is too short, and we never really know when would be the last time we’ll ever get to talk or see someone again. If you don’t have time, then make time. There’s so many ways to do this. Some suggestions: get coffee (even for 30 mins), dinner, go for a hike, go run an errand together or try an activity you’ve both never done before.
Provide a safe space for them. This could look many ways. Friendships and relationships are built when the people in them feel safe and have trust. You can make someone feel safe by letting them vent and talk to you without feeling like they are being judged. Make them feel like they are not alone, and their feelings are valid. Or if needed, you can provide someone with a literal safe space and take them in your home if they need one temporarily.
Make time for them. To do everything that I just mentioned above, you have to CHOOSE to make time for your friends and family no matter how busy your life could get. If you have time to binge watch shows, you can spare an hour to hangout with someone or 2 mins to send a thoughtful text. It’s up to you to prioritize what matters to you.
What are other ways to show love to someone?
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